I grow tired and weary trying to figure it out.  I grow less and less wise the more possibilities, excuses, reasons, beliefs as to “why” that I come up with…weaker, foggier with each event.  What God has shown me is that I absolutely do not have what it takes within me to overcome an addiction.  Yes, I can go without and do okay maybe even spectacular for a period of time, but without God’s power, without His daily grace I will without a doubt revert to what I know, what’s comfortable, what’s easy… I will never on my own revert to what’s holy, what’s right, what’s best.  Those ways and standards are far higher than that I can achieve on my own.
 I can’t even comprehend or understand what He has waiting for me as soon as I simply surrender.  I have tasted a small bit of it and so much of me longs for more—knows He is trustworthy, yet I seem  unwilling to step out and pay the price.  I look way into the future and can’t imagine a life without my addiction.  God says, just do it today…my grace and power is more than sufficient.  I must Surrender! Not wait until I have something figured out.  I will never figure it out—that is one of Satan’s many lies.  Those lies that keep us from the power and love of God. 
 I am tired of this struggle caused by sin and disobedience.  I yearn for the strength to be obedient, to live daily in God’s power, to have a daily walk led and directed by the holy spirit.  Being led not by me in all my limits, but by a holy, omniscient, loving, merciful, magnificent, Creator.  What perfect sense does it make to willingly give Him the reigns?!  Our Creator who knows EXACTLY what we need.  He knows our very design.  Psalm 103:8-18

I pray God that you will lead us today one step closer to surrender, total surrender of all that keeps us from your strength, power, and glory.  In Jesus name, Amen.